Really like my friends and friends commented on my facebook page, it's easy to forgive and never forget is even worse.
Let me explain how our little head: men´s mind is compartmentalized. It is as if it were a box for each subject: a box to talk about movies, talking to another car, another to speak of work, football, love, etc.. And among so many boxes have two that stand out: a large and another huge, is the box of sex and another box of "nothing" (he uses this box to do anything anyway, like fish, or keep changing channel on TV remain silent when stressed ... lol). For this reason man has ease of separate things, like love & sex.
A woman's mind is different, like a tangle of wires coated by a great mass of emotion. Where everything is connected to everything, she can connect the novel with movies, family with shoes, bags, meetings, etc ... and so they do not forget anything even talk about everything and do several things at once. And for them, sex has a strong connection with love. And because of this, they do not understand how the male mind when it comes to love & sex.
When a man cheats on his wife and confesses that it was just an adventure, and it feels nothing for the other, there are at least 80% chance of telling the truth!
Since the woman can not even say, because most of the time his act of infideliade is associated with affection and admiration she feels for each other and for revenge or disappointment she feels for his spouse "holder". Hence the expression: "betrays no woman, woman gets revenge." The great reality is that, in most cases, women cheat for response to something that your partner does not corresponded.Men are 80% right and 20% emotion. Women are 80% and 20% emotion reason. Armed with all this information we conclude:
1 - Men are drawn to the physical form, the geometry of the female body. Therefore betray more but not cling. Separate things and therefore remain responsible and good parents as "good" husbands.
2 - A woman betrays less because they need something that causes displeasure on the part of the partner and the other person even come and give him affection and admiration. Rarely a woman well loved and happy with your partner will do something that might disappoint!
Knowing these trends, do it will be worth forgiving?
Each case is unique. If you confess to treason and sincere apology, YES! But if it is usual and repetitive, coupled with an insatiable desire to have any new partners, there is COMPLICATED! We must not confuse "skidding" to "affective instability". One thing wrong is trying to hit, something else is wanting to live in error, chasing after the error, and wanting to die in error.
It is therefore very important to understand the situation of each. Talking openly the reasons for the incident, and seek God for strength to forgive each other in order to continue the relationship. Because, for married couples, there are still votes to stay together until "death do us part." Not to mention the numerous problems that a judicial separation can bring.
The Bible says in the seventh commandment: "Do not commit adultery." But it also says the prayer of the Our Father: "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." They agree that if we do not forgive, we are cheating ourselves by doing this prayer?
As we saw, the woman is more likely to be cheated, but "the wise woman builds her house." In this moment of unspeakable disappointment, it must reflect and decide whether to keep or undo your family. The rancor lack his vision, anger will make you cancel all your dreams, but forgiveness will give you endless possibilities to rebuild your home!
The man betrayed sought explanations, try to work things out on the basis of strength and power, but if he truly loves, he will find forgiveness in the hope of opportunity to start over and improve yourself.
Look, forgiving is not forgetting. For our mind does not allow deletarmos anything that has been written, even something as traumatic as a betrayal. But forgiveness will allow you to rewrite a new life story.
That's why God forgives us and motivates us to forgive people 7x70 times a day at least.
You see old couples with 30, 40, 50 years together ... They learned that even at that time it was better to fix things exchange them for new ones.
So, do expectations of perfection from your spouse or even your friend, he is a human being and can fail. Not even Jesus escaped the betrayal of Judas, the more we? Instead take care of your heart, depend on God alone to stabilize their emotions, never loses its emotional identity because of anyone, and if the worst happens, treat that person with love, because deep down, she is sick and you are spiritually the best person to help there and recapture it. Hatred will make you weak and limited, you will get the sleep and envenenarar your soul. But forgiveness, not even making you forget, you will bring peace of mind and the rebirth of new horizons!
Hugs!
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